More teams than the Red Wings and Blackhawks exist
The hockey community was stunned on Thursday when news of an entirely separate conference came to the attention of hockey media and fans. Apparently, a “Western Conference” has been in existence for decades; however, many fans were unaware of presence of such a thing. Fans of several NHL teams were interviewed about this recent news; when the existence of another conference in the National Hockey League was explained to these fans, they didn’t quite understand.
“My number one team is the Penguins, and my number two team is the Blackhawks, and my number three team is the Bruins, and my number four team is the Sabres, and my number five team is my hometown team, and Jeff Skinner counts as my number six team,” explains Fan Number One. “I just don’t know about these so-called ‘other teams’. Are we sure they’re real? Are they trying to confuse us?”
Fan Number Four had a bit of knowledge about the “Western Conference”. “It’s Jonathan Toews’ conference,” she explained to her peers. A wave of brief understanding passed through the fans. “Oh, okay, that one,” remarked one of the other fans.
As the fans learned more about this elusive conference, Fan Number Six was puzzled about the team names. “I don’t really get the name ‘Blues’. I mean, blues are a bad thing; it’s depressing. Why would you want to name something that is supposed to be happy such a sad name?” the hopeful philosophy major contemplated. “I just don’t get it. And the Flames? As if pyromania wasn’t enough of a problem in this country.”
Fan Number Eleven agreed. “These team names are just horrible! I mean, the Sharks? The Ducks? The Wild? No wonder that these teams have no fans.”
When informed that these teams do, in fact, have fans, the reaction was that of shock and confusion. “But why? They haven’t won the Stanley Cup within the past few years,” argued Fan Number Two, raising his voice to get his point across.
The fans were then told that the Anaheim Ducks had recently won the Stanley Cup in 2007. The group laughed. “Well, that explains it. 2007 was so long ago- what are we supposed to do, memorize every team to ever win the Stanley Cup? Come on now.” The group chuckled at the thought of doing such a thing.
It’s safe to say that the group of fans interviewed were caught a little off-guard at the news of the “Western Conference”. We reached out to the Commissioner of the NHL, Gary Bettman, to get his take on the fact that there are a few hidden teams in the league.
When Bettman was asked about the existence of another conference, he did not respond with words. He stood there for a moment, his eyes getting glassier by the second as he refused to blink. He then darted through a door and ran, uncoordinatedly, down the hallway and out of the building. The commissioner was not seen again and was unable to be reached for comment. Sources say that along with the Red Wings and Blackhawks, Bettman is also aware of the existence of a team called “the Canucks”. However, this team is located in some country that is not the United States of America, leading Bettman to refuse to acknowledge this team as well.
Little information is currently known about the “Western Conference”, but fans who have been wondering where the Red Wings and Blackhawks play can finally sleep soundly after receiving their answer. At press time, it was not clear whether all of the teams located in the “Western Conference” would be participating in the 2011-2012 season. More information will be released within the upcoming weeks, but it is suspected that these teams will, in fact, be playing hockey games (that will actually count in the standings) come October.