What an award! Jaroslav Halak truly took St. Louis by storm this season. While the Blues as a whole had a very up and down season, one thing you could always count on was Jaro mentioning his girlfriend as much as possible. She’s practically part of the team! Congratulations on this award, Mr. Jaroslav Halak.
Cracknell wasn’t with the Blues for the entire season, but we learned a lot about his personality from the time that he was in St. Louis. He is apparently very excitable. Honestly, what didn’t Cracknell do after he scored his first NHL goal? He peed his pants, orgasmed, and cried all at once. His next few goals had less of a celebration, but we all know he was secretly dying inside.
While players like Brad Boyes took a lot of flack for missing the net 30+ times a game, Alex Steen slipped under the radar with his inability to hit the side of a barn. Betcha didn’t know that Alex was 7th in the league in missed shots, which was accomplished while playing less games than the 6 players in front of him. We know that if he had played more games, he could’ve finished as high as 4th! In fact, Steen missed a whopping 32% of the shots he attempted this past season- a higher missed percentage than every player in front of him on the missed shots leaderboard. If that isn’t something to celebrate, what is? Here’s to a 50% missed shots percentage next season!
This award is self-explanatory. Patrik Berglund always looks confused- that’s no secret. What’s impressive is that he has so many variations of his confused expression. There’s angry-confused, surprised-confused, happy-confused, goingthewrongway-confused, confused-confused, and so much more. Kudos to Berglund for still managing to play hockey at such a high level, despite the fact that he most likely has no idea what is happening around him. Congratulations, Patrik! We hope you enjoy this award, and we hope you understand it.
Would you expect anything less? Eight time award winner Barret Jackman wins this one again- soon enough it’ll be named the Jackman Award. Say what you want about Barret Jackman, but he gives no fucks. The bottom line is, he thinks you’re a dumbass. And he’s most likely right. Here’s to you, Barret Jackman. Putting people in their place since 2002.
Nikita Nikitin wins the Best Alliterative Name award, and why wouldn’t he? Frankly, we thought this award may have more deserving recipients in Nikitin’s parents, but it takes a whole lotta man to wear a name like that. Nikita Nikitin pulls it off and does it well. Congratulations, buddy!
What an accomplishment this is! Cam Janssen loves to work on his skating skills such as starting, stopping, and turning by keeping up with little tyke skating classes. This year, he won most improved and he graduated from his class! He is now well on his way to participating in Midget classes. We couldn’t be more proud of you, Cam!
Andy McDonald missed several games this season due to Horcoff’s knee of steel, but that did not stop him from winning TWO superlative awards! We think these awards have gone to a very deserving recipient. Well done, Andy.
BJ Crombeen won two awards this year! Best Missing Tooth and Best Blood Sugar Control. Congratulations, BJ!